Love, relationships and dating is an ongoing frustrating topic with both sexes!
The world today is a complicated place and many people are having a difficult time amidst all the turmoil. Finding love is not easy these days due to the ongoing demise of face-to-face contact. People are too busy or apathetic to take the time to get out and meet others organically. I even find myself spending too much time on my computer and having to force myself outside during the day. It is important to mingle with real people. It’s not all about work!
Many of us have numerous social media friends that we have never met in person, but we talk to regularly. Times have changed, and we are now more cyber-connected than ever! Having a friendship and business connection with no actual physical contact is quite normal. It is quite strange when you think about it.
I have a few clients who spend months texting a potential love interest and still have not met each other face-to-face. Some couples seem happy to have this type of connection. Unfortunately, many fizzle out due to the lack of intimacy and human touch. I have formed some great client friendships over the years with people I have never actually met. The difference is, I am not romantically connected to them.
Putting in so much energy and time with someone you are attracted to over a text scenario is certainly not the best option for most people. It also takes time away from meeting someone you could have a committed relationship with.
Why are we letting go of the simple pleasures of life and not embracing human connection?
I used to write for a local website in Kitsilano, Vancouver that was all about connecting the neighbourhood. Sadly, the website is no longer active. Other websites and local apps have popped up since then, which I am very happy to see. If everyone made time to attend events in their cities, it would bring back the lost association of meeting new people.
Technology has made us lazy. It is far too easy to have an encounter with our smartphones, computers & gaming devices than to be openly communicative with other people. I am saddened by this. I find it disturbing how many people do not look up from their phones even while walking down the street. Some people are so rude and stay on their phones when dealing with employees in public at a shop. They give a head nod and that’s the extent of the interaction.
Many men and women are lonely and so unhappy but still not meeting each other. How can we change that?
Tips for Single Ladies:
The one complaint I hear all the time is there are no men to date! Oh, they’re out there ladies! I went to a pub the other night in Vancouver and I was one of the few women there for most of the evening. I am also only one of the five females on the unisex side of the gym where I regularly work out.
I walk by a few different coffee shops in the neighbourhood where the male customers outnumber the women by 4-1! Often when I go to the driving range I am surrounded by men and only a few women. I can’t even count how many guys that were at Home Depot when I went to buy my husband a power drill for Christmas! (Hey no judgment, that’s what he wanted. 😉 )
There are some great men out there who only need the encouragement of a smile! It’s very acceptable to be the first to acknowledge them, ladies. Things are very different today and many guys do not know what they are supposed to do anymore. A friendly hello is OK and it should not be beneath you to reach out once in a while.
Keep your expectations to a minimum and just enjoy a conversation without initial judgment. You don’t have to date every guy you talk to. Being approachable shows that you are open and friendly, which is a good reputation to have! There are many nice single men out there. If you keep pursuing the “bad boys,” you will continue to experience heartache. If you give up on dating due to negative experiences, loneliness will follow.
Tips for Single Men:
Where are all the single ladies? Many women venture out to restaurants with female friends in the evening. They go for walks, yoga, fitness, and brunch on the weekends to get out of their homes. They think that they look desperate and find it uncomfortable to hang out at bars all the time. I understand that it can be difficult to approach women if they are in a group. However, even just smiling and saying “good afternoon ladies,”can open the door to conversation.
Not all women are materialistic and are out for a man’s wallet. It’s easy to identify high-maintenance girls. You just need to watch their actions for a few minutes to separate them from the nice girls. If you continue to go for this type of woman all the time and get similar non-existent results, you are the common denominater. It is you who needs to change this pattern. Why are you only attracted to this type of woman and how is it working for you?
Most women will be happy to receive a friendly smile from a man at a restaurant, sporting event, or any function she attends. Some women may not be receptive, but please don’t take one negative experience and hold onto it. Don’t let one bad encounter keep you from meeting someone great. Women are not all the same, just as men are not all the same.
Both sexes are so quick to point fingers at each other. This needs to stop!
Tips for both sexes:
We all feel rejected once in a while. Don’t let this dictate how you act for the rest of your dating life. It is their loss and will only move you in a better direction anyway. The Universe has bigger plans for you. It did you a favour so that you don’t continue to spend your time with the wrong person.
Put away your phone when you are out for the afternoon or evening. Look up and watch the world going on around you. Invite conversation by smiling or saying hello to the people who are beside you in a store, or a shop lineup. Sit at the bar and chat with others who are sitting near you. My husband and I still do this when we are out together and have met many wonderful people.
Try not to sabotage your future happiness because you are afraid to get hurt or to get turned down. Don’t let it tarnish your attitude so that you become another jaded single person. Stand out from the others who do this. “Own your part” in why dating isn’t working for you at this time. It isn’t always the other person’s fault.
Lose those “set rules” you have had in the past.
Try something new and out of your dating comfort zone. If something isn’t working, repeating it or becoming angry about it is not the answer. You want a partner to share your life with, and everyone deserves love. Dating doesn’t have to be so damn hard if you change your thinking, old behaviours and your repetitive reactions.
People are so defensive these days and quick to become bitter in the dating world. Look at each experience as a stepping stone. Treat each date as an education by learning something new every time. Harbouring negativity due to what didn’t happen, or the fact that there wasn’t any chemistry; is no one’s fault.
Not taking it personally and staying optimistic, will eventually lead you to that special person. Attitude is everything!
Thank you, Sybersue xo ❤
Private Dating Relationship Coaching With Sybersue – Don’t hesitate to get in touch with me @ [email protected] and message me there to set up a video or audio appointment within 24 hours. Thank you!
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